Friday, December 20, 2013
fell asleep and we talked and talked all night. It was remarkable how
Neal could go mad and then suddenly the next day just calmly and sanely
continue with his soul---which I think is wrapped in a fast car, a coast
to reach, and a woman at the end of the road----as though nothing
happened. “I get like that every time in Denver now---I can’t make that
town any more. Gooky, gooky, Neal’s a spooky. Zoom!” We went through a
ghostlike town and resumed. I told him I had been over this Nebraska
road before in ’47. He had too. “Jack when I was working for the New Era
Laundry in Los Angeles, 1945, I made a trip to Indianapolis Indiana for
the express purpose of seeing the Memorial Day races hitch hiking by day and stealing cars by night to make time. I was coming thru one of these
towns we passed with a set of license plates under my shirt when a
sheriff picked me up on suspicion. I made the most magnificent speech in
my life to get out of that---telling him I was torn between a vision of
Jesus and my old habits of stealing cars and had picked up the plates
only to weigh the issue in my hand, of course that didn’t work until I
started crying and beating my head on the desk and I meant it, I meant
it! That’s the point---real awful feelings possessed me and at the same
time every moment wasted made me later and later for the races. Of
course I missed them, damn it; they sent me back to Denver on probation
and everything was cleared there. The following Fall I did the same
thing again to see the Notre Dame-Ohio State game in South Bend Indiana-
-no hitch that time and Jack, I had just the money for the ticket and
didn’t eat anything all the way up and back except for what I could
panhandle from all kinds of crazy cats I met on the road and at the game
and so on. How mad I was then!---I was probably the only guy in the
world who went to so much trouble to see an old ballgame and trying to
gun cunts along the way.” I asked him the circumstances of his being in
LA, 1945. “I was arrested in California, you know. The name of the joint
won’t mean anything to you but it was___ ___absolutely the worst place
I’ve been in. I had to escape---I pulled the greatest escape in my life
speaking of escapes you see in a general way. Well I got out and had to
walk across the woods with the fear if they caught me
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