Saturday, December 21, 2013
or stay a few days for kicks and look for his father: we decided this.
My idea was for Neal and I to live at the house of the woman who had
given me the money to go to Frisco. But Justin Brierly knew we were
coming through together and had already warned her against “Jack’s
friend from Frisco” and so when I called on the phone first thing (from
the gas station where we left off) she immediately made it known to me
she wouldn’t have anything to do with Neal in her house. When I told
Neal this he instantly realized he was back in the same old Denver that
had never given him any quarter, for in Frisco at least he had found
himself a hometown where he was treated like everyone else. In Denver
his reputation was too much. I racked my brain for what to do. I finally
hit on the idea of having Neal stay at the home of some Okies I knew
out on Alameda Blvd. where I had lived briefly with my family, and I
would stay with the woman. A darkness came across Neal’s face, and from
that moment on in Denver he reverted to his youthful days of violence
and bitterness. It was him against Denver as long as we were there. When
I finally understood this I left the woman’s house and went to live
with Neal at the Okie woman’s house and even then my watchfulness had
little effect. First things first: we decided before I went to the
woman’s house to eat and have a last brief talk in a restaurant. We were
both exhausted and dirty. In the john I was taking a leak in a urinal
and stepped out before I was finished and aimed to the other urinal,
momentarily halting the flow and saying to Neal “Dig this trick.” “Yes
man it’s a very good trick but awful on your kidneys and because you’re
getting a little older now every time you do this eventually years of
misery in your old age, awful kidney miseries for the days when you sit
in parks.” It made me mad. “Who’s old? I’m not much older than you are!”
“I wasn’t saying that, man!” “Ah shit,” I said “you’re always making
cracks about my age. I’m no old fag like that sonofabitch, you don’t
have to warn me about my kidneys.” We went back to the booth and just as
the waitress set down the hot roast beef sandwiches---and where
ordinarily Neal would have leaped to wolf the food at once---I said to
cap my anger “And I don’t want to hear any more of it.”---and
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