Thursday, December 26, 2013
would be getting money back from me, as soon as I got that ship. Then I
went to meet Ruth Gullion and took her back to the apartment. I got her
in my bedroom after a long talk in the dark of the front room. She was a
nice little girl, simple and true, and tremendously frightened of sex;
she said it was because she saw such awful things in the hospital. I
told her it was beautiful. I wanted to prove this to her. She let me
prove it, but I was too impatient and proved nothing. She sighed in the
dark. “What do you want out of life?” I asked and I used to ask that all
the time of girls. “I don’t know” she said. “Just work and try to get
along.” She yawned. I put my hand over her mouth and told her not to
yawn. I tried to tell her how excited I was about life and the things we
could do together; saying that and planning to leave Denver in two
days. She turned away wearily. We lay on our backs looking at the
ceiling and wondering what God had wrought when he made life so sad and
disinclined. We made vague plans to meet in Frisco. My moments in Denver
were coming to an end. I could feel it when I walked her home in the
holy Denver night and on the way back stretched out on the grass of an
old church with a bunch of hobos and their talk made me want to get back
on that road. Every now and then one would get up and hit a passerby
for a dime. They talked of harvests moving north. It was warm and soft. I
wanted to go and get Ruth again and tell her a lot more things, and
really make love to her this time, and calm her fears about men. Boys
and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication
demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary
talk. Not courting talk---real straight talk about souls, for life is
holy and every moment is precious. I heard the Denver and Rio Grande
locomotive howling off to the mountains. I wanted to pursue my star
further. Temko and I sat sadly talking in the midnight hours. “Have you
ever read The Green Hills of Africa? It’s Hemingway’s best.” We wished
each other luck. We would meet in Frisco. I saw Burford under a dark
tree in the street. “Goodbye Bob, when do we meet again?” I went to look
for Allen and Neal- - nowhere to be found. Ed White shot his hand up in
the air and said “So you’re leaving Yo.” We
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